Title: Vacation -- part 4
Author: Lilac Summers
Rating: PG
salaices@leland.stanford.edu

  I continue to thank all of you who are patiently waiting for a response
from me.  Keep on e-mailing me, people!  I beg you, let not my inbox go
without!

Just wanted to say hi to my crazy sisters, Jo-chan and Shi-chan.  And
Sidnei, I graciously scede Tamahome to you.  ^_^

By the way, Ninx rocks.  I just felt it needed to be said.

Disclaimer:  What light through yonder window breaks?  It is Sailor Moon,
and I don't own it!

The park's name is completely fabricated

A  "  /   / " within quotes denotes a quote withing a quote.  A regular
apostrophe doesn't come out, for some reason.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Vacation
by
Lilac Summers

Part 4

  It was a beast.  A great hulking beast with plumage bright enough to
blind you from a hundred yards.

  "Good goddess Selene!  What in Tokyo is *that*?!"  Ami immediately
stepped before Serenity, who was munching on trail mix as they waited for
Endymion to arrive.  She began to send out some of her fog as Minako,
beside her, drew out her chain.  "You chain it still and I'll analyze it!"

  Serenity peered around Ami's shoulder to see what all the commotion was
and almost choked on her trail mix.  "Noooo!" she shouted around a
mouthful, and threw what remained in the bag at Minako.

  Minako "eeked!" as peanuts and tiny crumbs rained down on her,
distracted long enough to refrain from shooting out her chain until the
"beast" came into focus.

  It was none other than Endymion, dressed in the most atrocious flowered
shirt she had ever had the misfortune to see.  On top of that, the blaring
yellow parka clashed gleefully with the splashes of purple and green.
And, good god, was he wearing *shorts*?

  Ami and Minako watched, bemused, as he grunted and groaned the last few
feet to reach them.  He was carrying a dearth of equipment, weighed down
and exhausted from the five-floor climb to the helicopter pad.

  Finally before them, Minako could only turn to Serenity and whisper
quietly, "You should have let me kill him.  It would have been kinder."

  Serenity shot her an insulted look.  "*I* picked out that outfit," she
informed her.

  "Then you should be killed.  In fact, I'm surprised he hasn't done it
already."

  Serenity looked at her husband, who had dropped all the baggage and now
gasped for breath, critically.  "I think he looks perfectly normal."

  Ami frowned in distaste.  "A normal what?!?  A normal crazy person?"
Suddenly her expression turned sober and she looked at her lifetime friend
sadly, "Sere-chan, I never knew you were having marital problems.  Do you
really hate him that much?"

  "WHAT?!  For god's sake, I'm beginning to think you two don't remember a
thing about adolescence.  Remember, everybody, the 1990's?  How guys were
totally clueless about how to dress?  How they are *still* clueless about
the barest fashion basics?"  Serenity looked from Ami's to Minako's face,
beseechingly.

  "Well, sure," began Minako, "but I don't ever remember good ol' Mamoru
ever dressing like a dork.  He always looked quite dashing, actually."

  "Exactly!" crowed Serenity, lifting one hand into the air as she made
her point.  "He never did look like a dork.  My Mamo-chan has always been
an excellent dresser (except for the green jacket, but we won't go into
that).  And what happened?  He turned out to be a superhero, a past
prince, and a future king.  See, that's not *normal*. *Normal* guys don't
know what's in and what's out until what's out is in again and what's in
is out."

  Ami's brow furrowed as she tried to make sense of that last sentence.
"What's in is out and out is out again, then it's not in and in is . . ."

  "Well, put that way," Minako said, having found nothing wrong with that
last statement at all, "then I guess it all makes perfect sense."  She
looked at Endymion, who was just now beginning to gain back his natural
color, and nodded with approval.  "Hi there, Endymion-san.  You look
great."

  After a few last gasps, Endymion returned the greeting, looking down at
his outfit dubiously.  "Hi, thanks.  You don't think it's a little, well,
much?"

  "No, it's just perfect.  Trust us," Ami assured.

  "Hmm . . . now where have I heard that before?" asked Endymion as he
glared at his wife.  "Sere dear, remind me to thank you later for helping
me carry up all the camping gear."

  Serenity decided to ignore the blatant sarcasm and smiled back cheerily,
swinging her two canteens in carefree arcs.  "No problem, baby.  Any
time."  She grinned wider as she heard him groan and hang his head in
defeat.  Unable to help herself, she giggled softly and gave the whole
game away.

  Endymion's head shot up as he stared at Serenity through narrowed eyes.
"Why you . . ."  He plucked her from behind Ami and drew her into a
crushing bear hug as she began to laugh loudly, squeezing until she gasped
for mercy and subsided into giggles again.

  She leaned back in the circle of his arms, looking up with undisguised
amusement.  "I can't help it, love.  Admit it, I've got you wrapped around
my little finger."

  Endymion didn't try to deny it.  Hell, he knew he was a sucker for his
wife.  He picked up the famed little finger and kissed it thoroughly,
sending Serenity into a new fit of gleeful chortling.  "And what a lovely
finger it is," he said with all the flair of a Frenchman.

  Their play may have gone on indefinitely if Minako hadn't started to
make retching noises in the background and Ami hadn't begun to freeze
their feet to the asphalt for pure entertainment.

  "Erm, can we get back on track here?  I have a date later tonight,"
announced Ami, deciding that freezing their feet to the ground just wasn't
all that much fun.

  Minako stopped gagging long enough to look at Ami in disbelief.  "Yeah,
a date with an encyclopedia, no doubt."

  "Hey!  I *do* have a date.  And I'd rather go get ready, if you two
lovebirds don't mind.  At this rate, the wilds of Northwest America won't
be wild much longer."

  "So that's our destination, I take it.  It should be interesting . . . I
don't think we've ever been there before," commented Endymion.

  "Makoto says it has some of the greatest camping sites in the world and,
since she knows that kind of stuff, we took her word for it.  Haruka
agrees."

  "Speaking of Haruka, where is she and the others?"  asked Serenity,
looking around for her bag of trail mix, until she remembered it had all
gone to decorate Minako's hair.

  "Well, after the plane turned around and brought me and Haruka back,
Haruka joined the other Outers to plan their schedules for the coming
week.  Rei and Makoto are arranging some press releases that detail a fake
itinerary for your coming vacation and also state how the Senshi will take
over matters of the state until you two return," explained Ami, who had
always had a flair for exposition.

  Minako picked up a clipboard that lay at her feet and riffled through
some papers until she found the thick envelope that lay underneath.  She
handed this to the couple before her.  "Okay, guys, pay close attention.
That contains your passports, lovely faux reproductions made by our very
own Sailor Mercury," motioned Minako, and Ami bowed modestly.

  "Excuse me, but isn't that illegal?  In fact, I'm pretty certain it's
illegal, as I wrote the law myself," Endymion pointed out.

  "Well, they aren't exactly fake.  After all, the names on those
passports are Chiba Mamoru and Chiba Usagi.  That's not a lie.  So what if
those two personas haven't existed since the early 2000's?  Frankly, I'm
insulted that you think I would take the laws into my own hands, my lord!"
huffed Ami.

  "Ami, aren't you the one who likes to break into our security computer
just to, and I quote /keep my hacker instincts sharp/, when you are the
very person who runs the security computer to begin with?  And I've been
meaning to ask you, how *do* you do that?"  continued Endymion.

  "A lot of practice.  Oh, just get on with it!"

  Minako nodded her agreement and continued down the list.  "The envelope
also contains a large amount of currency for any purchases, driver's
licenses in case you need them, and that's about it.  You really don't
need to open it right now," she added when she saw Endymion reach for the
flap.  He stopped.  "Ready to go?"

  Serenity beamed and Endymion groaned.  "Ready as ever, I guess," he
said.

  Serenity patted his arm in reassurance.  "Don't you worry, love.  I
promise that you'll have a great time.  I won't let a single bug get near
you."

  Endymion threw a harried glance at the two Senshi, noting with relief
that they seemed to be conversing with each other.  "Sere," he ground out,
"don't say stuff like that!  I don't want the others to know, okay?"

  Serenity was incredulous at his naivete.  Surely he knew that, by one
mean or another, the Senshi would find out sooner or later?  She was quite
sure that Michiru always put that mirror of hers to good use.  But, well,
if he wanted to live in denial a bit longer, who was she to refuse him?
"Whatever you say, Endy."

  The two said their last good-byes to the Senshi and entered the awaiting
helicopter, which was electronically programmed to take them to their
destination.  Ami and Minako waved at the departing couple until they were
a mere speck in the sky.

  Ami calmly lifted her communicator to her lips and said, "Phase 2
underway.  Mobilize."  Then she shut off the communication link and turned
to Minako.

  "So, Minako-chan, did you finally decide to put that fake bug in the
envelope or not?"

  Minako rubbed her hands together, looking for all the world like an
old-movie villain.  "I couldn't help myself.  I even set a minor spell on
it that makes it wriggle when he touches it."

  Ami shook her head.  "You are incorrigible," she said, but she was
smiling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Midway through the flight:

  Endymion:  "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!"

Thunk.

   Serenity:  "Oh, Minako, Minako, Minako . . . ."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  The helicopter set down gently on a private helicopter pad a few miles
away from a national park in the Pacific Northwest.  The helicopter pad
was actually part of a large property, a vacation cabin designed for
privacy and solitude for the very rich.  It was one of their own
properties, but one never used by them.  Makoto, however, was known to
favor this cabin whenever she wanted to meditate, train, or just spend a
weekend away.  There were various houses and villas spread throughout the
world that served this very purpose for the Senshi and the Monarchs.

  "This is nice," commented Endymion as they made the short trek to the
main grounds and the huge cabin.  He turned bedroom eyes at his wife.
"Wouldn't you rather spend a long week here, just you and me, in this
plush cabin?  We could spend the entire time in bed," he cajoled,
promising a number of wicked and highly enjoyable things with his eyes.

  Serenity was tempted.  Well, who could blame her?  But normal people did
not just hie off to a luxurious lodge whenever they wanted to.  *Normal*
people went camping, and she desperately wanted to be normal.

  "Endy, you promised," she reminded him, and watched his seductive leer
turn into an adorable pout.  "But," she smirked, "I wouldn't be averse to
spending a number of hours, before we leave, in bed . . ."

  She was allowed to say no more, for her husband was already carting her
halfway up the stairs.

  They did not leave till the next morning, after all.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  "Red Eagle to Green Eagle.  Destination unconfirmed.  Repeat, the Moon
and Earth have NOT reached destination at appointed time.  Over."  The
shadowy form stuck close to the ranger station, pacing worriedly and
continuously watching the road for its prey.

  A few miles away, at a lodge, another shadowy form looked up in disgust
at the dark windows of the upstairs master bedroom.  From Green Eagle's
distant vintage point in the abandoned helicopter, Green could see that
the prey had not budged from the bedroom for several hours.

  "Green Eagle to Red Eagle.  Unforeseen alignment of the planets.
Doubtful that Moon and Earth will come out of alignment until much later.
Hold off on position till later communication. Over."  Green Eagle settled
in for a long waiting period.

  Back at the campgrounds, Red Eagle frowned into the communicator.
"Copy, Green Eagle.  Will hold off till further notice.  Over and out."

  Well, so much for the best-laid plans.  Those two were *always* going
into damn alignment!  Red Eagle also settled in for along waiting period.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  After a hearty breakfast in bed, Usagi and Mamoru Chiba headed for the
campgrounds marked on their itinerary.  From the information they had been
given, they gleaned that it was one of the smaller national parks that
dotted this territory.  Though as King and Queen one of the first things
they had done was to section off vast sectors of land as protected
national ground, from the Alaskan tundra to the Brazilian rainforests,
they had never actually had occasion to come to the Pacific Northwest.
Now, as they drove the transportation module towards their destination,
they could only gasp at the wild beauty around them.

  "You know what this reminds me of, Mamo-chan?  It reminds me of Jupiter.
No wonder Mako-chan likes it so much."

  Endymion grinned at her use of his old pet-name.  Though she still used
it on occasion, "Endy" had long ago become her regular choice.  This new
excursion, however, had given her an excuse to revert back to the old
tried and true "Mamo-chan."  He himself was once again calling her
"Usako."

  "You're right," agreed Endymion as he concentrated on the road.  Sere
had primly informed him that it was his responsibility to drive because,
as she'd said, "guys always want to drive, Mamo-chan.  They want to feel
they're in charge of the machine, or something.  It's *normal*."  So, to
not risk being labeled unnatural, he'd taken the driver's seat.

  "Turn here," instructed Serenity, studying the map they'd been given.
Accordingly, they soon came to a sign advertising Redlake National Park.
They drove through the exit and came upon a gated entrance, lined by a
number of small log cabins that advertised camping gear, souvenirs, and
even a small diner.

  Serenity could feel her palms turn sweaty as they neared the gate.  She
saw the ranger inside his glass cubicle by the gate, ready to
recognize them the moment they appeared and announce them as frauds.  She
could see it now:  he'd fling the module's door open and drag them out,
pointing a long, accusing finger at them and going "Ha!  I knew it all
along!   How could *you* ever wish to pass for normal?!"

  She looked over at her husband, reassuring herself that they were the
very picture of normality.  She'd made him wear the same outfit again, as
she wore her own again, too.  She had made sure her hair resembled in no
way the royal Odango's, going so far as to even use the Crystal to mask
her hair as blonde.  It was an optical illusion easily cast, but
effective.  Ami had suggested they both just "mask" themselves completely
with magic not unlike their disguise magic in transformation, but Serenity
simply had not wanted to deal with magic at all this week.  She'd only
done her hair because the Royal Silver was unmistakable.

  Oh god, this was it.  Endymion drove straight up to the gate with no
further hesitation.  He stopped the car and ordered the windows to lower
as the park ranger stepped out of the booth and towards the car.  Serenity
could only thank the hundreds of years Ami had been pounding English,
along with a number of other languages, into their heads.  Languages were
so much easier to learn when a person had a thousand years to learn them.

  The man, whose nametag read "Dennis", leaned in amiably by the driver's
side and scanned the couple before him.  Whoo-whee, but they were a
good-looking pair!  He couldn't see very well into the dark interior, but
he could tell they were gorgeous, and he couldn't help but think that he
should know who they were.

"Morning, folks.  I take it you're here for a few days of camping?"

  They nodded mutely until the man cleared his throat and said, "a week,
actually, if that's okay with you."

  "Well, that's fine.  Lots of folks think Redlake is one of the
finest parks around here.  Mighty fine this time of year.  Mind if I see
some identification?"

  He studied the man quickly, noting the rugged good looks, and had the
strangest urge to add a "my lord" to the end of his request.  Now, that
sure was strange, wasn't it?

  The woman rummaged in a backpack and produced two passport cards.  He
had to lean in a little more to accept them from her, and that's when he
got his first good look at her.  He almost swallowed his tongue.  He was
sure he forgot to breathe, that was a fact.  Before him sat an angel, a
veritable angel sent down to strike awe into a man.  It made him weak at
the knees.  The angel smiled at him and continued to wave the passports in
his face.

  He might have happily spent his life gazing at this gift from above, had
not the angel's irritable husband cleared his throat angrily.  Dennis
remembered himself and took the passports, noticing the foreign names.

  "You guys from Crystal Tokyo?  Always wanted to live in the capitol,
myself.  It'll be $40 for the week."

  Dennis returned the passports, glad Jane wasn't there to see him ogle
another woman.  She'd skin him alive!  Of course, he didn't doubt she
would have ogled a bit herself had she seen this "Mamoru" guy.  He
accepted a fifty and opened the gate, waving them through cheerfully.

  Endymion and Serenity were drawing in deep breaths of relief when Dennis
suddenly shouted, "STOP!  Hey, WAIT!"  They both felt their hearts sink,
and Endymion gazed at his wife as if to say, "it's all over now."

  He stopped the module and waited for Dennis to reach the window once
more.   Dennis looked in, smiling widely.

  "I thought I wouldn't catch you two in time!  You two almost left
without your change."  Dennis handed over the ten, confused at seeing
their flushed faces.  Endymion was about to drive off again when Dennis
added:

  "By the way, that's a great shirt you're wearing."  He looked a little
enviously at the cacophony of colors spread over Endymion.  "I've always
wanted one, but my wife never lets me buy any!  I wonder why?  Women!"  He
looked with an air of masculine suffering at Endymion, searching for
agreement.

  Endymion nodded soberly.  "Never will understand them."  Then he drove
through.

  And finally Serenity and Endymion were free!!  Christened "Usako" once
more, Usagi turned to her Mamo-chan and said simply, "I told you so."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
to be continued . . .

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salaices@leland.stanford.edu